The REAL story behind 80’s Senior Photos…
A lot of people don't know the back story behind old photos. Today we are going to look deeper into these old photos and see possibly what the photographer and model were trying to portray...or...maybe there is just a hidden story of truth that can change the universe...
I like to call this photo the GOLDEN VOLCANO. You would think that it adds value to the photo because of the amount of gold interlaced within the locks. Even Indiana Jones would be proud to behold and store these locks in a mystic gallery. This photo was also taken in Japan. This hair actually saved her life from ninjas on the street. The locks acted as a shield because of it's "gold" value and strength. She did die shortly after this photo but in an Iron Maiden...hence where the band Iron Maiden got their name in her memory.
SPANDEX QUEEN: This photo makes me just want to throw on some spandex and pop in a Richard Simmons workout sesh with some of my Nintendo buddies. Check out those hot legs! Whew! Also the glasses actually gave her magical abilities to fly. That's not a background but the earth's atmosphere. Just seconds after this was taken by a local aerial photographer a Pterodactly from a space time warp flew from space and destroyed her home town. So please don't laugh at this because this is really serious.
I actually have a lot of respect for this one. It's almost angelic like if she were to move out of the way you would probably explode from the radiant light. This is probably pretty close to what most Seniors would have gotten back in the 80's. I call this one the SOLAR ECLIPSE. The reason she isn't smiling is because she had to stay in this position until she was 100 years old because if she had moved everyone would die. Just think about that...
THE CAT-ASTROPHY (or Cat Ass Trophy): It's a combo between a cat and a trophy because this deserves a medal for genius. I think this girl actually may have tied her cat somehow to her head and gotten groomed by a local pet barber before she had the photo taken. Absolutely amazing! A little back story is that this girl was in the all girl punk new wave band Meow Meowster. She later moved on in life and created Napster. She now lives in Hawaii on the beach and makes blankets for kittens.
OBOELICIOUS : While pondering his future college academic career Oboe One Canobi allowed his subconscious to release the oboe playing spirit from his brain and superimpose onto this masterpiece photo. I highly doubt this was in the original photo but the so called "OBOE SPIRIT" was released into the lens of the camera creating a phenomenon for years to come. He's not smiling...but his spirit is.
This is Chad...and he's bad to the bone...Nuff said. But if I were to tell you his secret name it's actually GUMBY. People used to make fun of him for years until he was like, "ENOUGH!!!" So he took off his shirt and kept a bow tie so insensitive people would say things like, "What the heck dude? What the H.E. double hockey stick are you doing?" He then would unleash the bow tie which was actually like a bladed boomerang and chop off their heads like a slice of momma's cottage cheese. The good news is that those kids were actually aliens who were trying to take over earth so I'm so thankful for GUMBY'S reactive nature.
GUITAR GOD : You may be looking at this like, "Ok, dude I get it. A guy playing guitar that's not even plugged in wearing a bandana and a lame background that looks like a grid from the movie TRON. So what?" Well...this is your dad...
CIRCUS OLAY: I don't know if you've noticed the rings on this lady but hard to believe that full grown lions used to jump through those in Barnum and Bailey...back when B&B was cool. The leather jacket was used for protection from the fire rings. She also had 5 husbands due to the 5 rings on her finger. The background represents how her life was spinning out of control and some have said that the spiral would actually follow her around and hypnotize people thus turning them into...another husband. Don't stare at this too long, men.
CALCULATOR GEEKAZOID II : The reason he is the 2nd is because his father figured a way out to replicate himself through computer science and biological genetics during the Cold War in Russia. This technology was lost during a massive explosion in their basement which contained the capsules and paperwork. Their cat also died. He was supposed to be in this picture but they used a calculator instead in its memory. The father is on the left as you can see.
Another musician senior photo with dazzling heavenly background. This kid was called the RAT. Before you laugh just notice the Italian neck chain. "Yeah, so what dude." Well maybe you should shut up before you get so cocky. The RAT used to smuggle drugs for the Italian Mafia and played these keys at local nightclubs after doing homework. The glasses were only a facade that he was a nerdy geekazoid like the above picture but in fact he was high paid hit man on the side.
